I was always a big fan of Alice in Wonderland. Having read the book several times, you just have to wonder why she goes down the hole at all? Alice abandons all that she knows, all that everyone around her acknowledges as being rational and true, for something that we’re told is simply the pursuit of curiosity. But I never believed that. I think Alice goes down that hole for passion.
Many people come close to finding their life’s passions. But just like when we approach the edge of a cliff, we get that tickle in the back of our head that raises doubts. Don’t get too close, you might fall. And if we are being really honest with ourselves: Don’t get to close, you might jump. And most people do the rationale thing: they pull back and in so doing, they never realize their passion.
Years ago, I was very fortunate to be shown the edge; shown my very own rabbit hole. And I jumped with everything I had. I abandoned rationale thought and left behind all that I knew to be true to pursue a passion. I sacrificed sure things to keep falling down the hole as long as I could. I soon discovered that what I thought I knew was a delusion; the hole became reality and I wanted everyone to know with the surety that I had, what truth really looked like.
But that’s how I got into risk, not why I stayed.
I stay in risk because I’m not done falling. I need to keep finding the next cliff from which to leap. That fear we experience while falling removes the impurities that cloud our vision. It’s only in falling that we can be honest enough with ourselves to allow us to create and I’m not done yet. My head is full of ideas to keep me busy, but if I don’t keep jumping, I will run out. And I never want to run out.
And that’s why I keep working in risk: because I see risk everywhere I look and in everything I do. I live my life in graphs that wax and wane with all I do, reflecting the quality of my decision making, forecasting, and unforeseen events. I measure life’s metabolism to survive and eventually I will fail. And I find it thrilling.
And for a jumper like me, I need those thrills. So I keep looking for the next cliff.